


He doesn't Remember Me

by Jessymessy101



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Catherine Willows - Freeform, Emotional Hurt, Episode tag: Fannysmackin, Established Relationship, Father Figure Grissom, Field mouse, Friends to Lovers, Gil Grissom - Freeform, Greg Sanders - Freeform, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Lab Bromance, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Loss, Nick Stokes - Freeform, Nick is hurting, OC Greg's parents, Rebuilding, Sarah Sidle - Freeform, Slash, Warrick Brown - Freeform, csi - Freeform, graveyard shift - Freeform, helping Greg remember, lab tech - Freeform, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessymessy101/pseuds/Jessymessy101
Summary: How will Nick cope when the one person who knows him better than anyone else suddenly doesn't even remember his name.set during episode fannysmackin'





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A story I originally wrote around 5 years ago and posted to FF. Decided to go back and re-write.

“Have you been to see Greg yet?” Sara asked Nick as she walked into the break room, she looked tired and was still wearing her CSI vest and carrying her kit.

 

Nick was sitting alone at the table, a cup of coffee going cold in his hands and was staring at his thumb rubbing circles into his other hand. He had received a call whilst out in the field on a case, he was working the scene with Sara but she insisted on darting off to see Greg leaving Nick alone to finish processing the scene. All Nick had wanted to do was go in her place but he couldn’t leave the scene.

 

“Nick, did you hear me? Have you seen Greg?” Sara repeated herself raising her voice slightly to grab Nick’s attention.

 

“No I haven’t” His reply was so blunt as if there were no emotion at all.

 

“Why not? I thought you of all people would have gone by now” Sara looked confused with a furrowed brow like she was scolding Nick for not going sooner.

 

“No offence Sara, but I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter” Nick replied his voice had a hint of annoyance to it this time as he got up and moved to dump his cold coffee in the sink.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara snapped back, Nick hadn’t intended for it to become an argument but he couldn’t hold back his frustration towards Sara’s behaviour.

 

“It means, Sara, that I should have been the one to leave the scene not you! I needed to know Greg was okay!” Nick spun around coffee all but forgotten on the side squaring off against Sara now. Sara knew about Nick’s relationship with Greg, she was one of the first to find out they were an item and had kept it to herself ever since.

 

“I know” Sara’s voice softened as she smiled sadly at Nick like she was looking at a wounded dog. “Believe it or not Nick, but I was thinking of you when I went in your place…I went to see if he was alive!” her voice broke as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall but she had to stay strong right now.

 

“I appreciate your concern Sara, but I still should have gone, I’d rather go myself and face that than not know what was going on” Nick paused he was still angry at her and that was evident in the way he was speaking to her, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have somewhere to be” Nick spoke softly grabbing his jacket that was slung over the back of the chair and stormed out.

 

…………………………………………

 

“Nick, you’re here,” Grissom sounded surprised as he spotted Nick coming through the doors into the waiting area.

 

“I’ve come to see Greg, how is he?” Nick asked his worry evident and made worse by the sudden sadness that crossed his mentors face, sending a chill down Nick’s spine he knew that look well it was scarily similar to the look he gave when telling a family their loved one had died in some horrific way.

 

“Grissom? What’s wrong?” Nick’s voice had a hint of panic now as he took a step closer to his boss.

 

“Nick, I think you may need to prepare yourself, Greg doesn’t look like himself at the moment he has been badly beaten” Grissom began holding his hands out to stop Nick from escaping past him. “There’s more…much of the beaten was to the head so he’s suffered some severe head injuries and the doctors are saying he may have some brain damage but they wont know more till he wakes up” Grissom explained to Nick as calmly as he could trying to work him up any more than he already was. Nick took a step back stumbling as if he had been slammed into with a tone of bricks to his chest. Nick’s body began to tremble in bursts of panic as he collapsed into a chair behind him. Grissom handed Nick a cup of water.

 

“Here drink this” Nick’s trembling hand took the cup and he gently sipped the cold water. “I know how important Greg is to you” Nick shot his gaze up to Grissom in a panic, they had let slip to Sara shortly after they got together but he didn’t think Grissom would work it out.

 

“How did you know?” Nick asked quietly scratching the rivets on the plastic cup to keep from making eye contact with Grissom.

 

“Sara told me, she felt under the circumstances as your supervisor I should be made aware” Nick suddenly felt the pain of Greg’s situation turn to anger towards Sara once again.

 

“She had no right to tell you, we would have told you when we were ready” Nick argued still keeping his gaze on the cup in his hand.

 

“I know you would have and I trust you Nick, but Sara was right to tell me” Grissom placed a reassuring hand on Nick’s shoulder, he leaned into the touch finally giving into the need for human contact. Nick thought he was stronger than this but clearly Greg was his weakness.

 

The approaching doctor holding a file and heading straight for them interrupted the pair before Nick could argue further.

 

“Mr Grissom and…” The doctor indicated to Nick who stood up taking the doctors hand in a weak handshake.

 

“CSI Nick Stokes I work with Greg” Nick didn’t really want to announce his relationship just now and especially to a complete stranger, doctor or not. The Doctor looked questioningly over at Grissom who simply nodded in approval, obviously allowing permission as Greg’s acting next of kin that Nick was approved to receive any information.

 

“Alright, we have some news on Greg, he has woken up and thankfully there doesn’t appear to be any serious brain damage, our preliminary tests suggests no paralysis which is a good sign” The doctor was very professional but was also incredibly sympathetic in the way he broke the news to the pair. The news that Greg was awake and okay was enough to calm Nick’s nerves but something about the way the doctor looked over at Grissom with the same sad eyes Nick had seen on his boss a few minutes ago, sent his mind spinning.

 

“There’s something else isn’t there?” Nick’s voice broke as he tried to stay strong.

 

“I’m afraid so, it appears Greg is suffering from amnesia, now we aren’t sure at this point in time how severe this memory loss is or how long it will last” The doctor looked over at Nick with those sad eyes, which only made his head spin more the world around him seemed to be twirling and his vision blurred as the tears filled his eyes.

 

“Thank you doctor, are we able to go see him now?” Grissom enquired but Nick was too far in his own thoughts to hear the rest of the conversation or be aware that the doctor had left the room. Nick had realised that someone was walking him down a series of corridors but he didn’t regain his senses until Grissom placed a hand over his back and they were facing a side window looking into the private room where Greg now lay.

 

Nick couldn’t take his eyes of Greg. He was laid upright in the hospital bed, which was a good sign at least. His body was covered in bandages all up his arms and one over the top of his head, Nick’s eyes trailed down to his face, which was black and blue from the bruises that were by now a few hours old the bruises had caused on of his eyes to fuse shut and the other was looking down at his wrapped up hands. Nick’s heart ached at the sight. “What have they done to you?” Nick whispered into the space not really expecting a response.

 

Nick stood and stared at Greg for a few minutes his eyes focused on Greg’s hands as he fiddled with the bed sheets, he was looking so innocent almost child like. Nick’s attention was broken by a sudden high-pitched screech of a heart monitor coming from somewhere behind him. Doctors and nurses alike all began rushing to the other room next to them where, through the window, lay a young looking man being laid out flat on the bed as one of the doctors began CPR. Nick watched with Grissom by his side as the buzz of the room quietened down and the excitement slowed down. The doctor over the man slowly backed away checking his watch then feeling the man’s neck for a pulse. Nick’s stomach dropped when the doctor shook his head and flicked the switch on the heart monitor and stepping away allowing the nurses to take over and cover the now deceased man.

 

“Demetrius James, he was found in the alley as well, Greg had hit him with his truck, he was part of the group that had been attacking people all night” Grissom’s voice was low but the words struck Nick like a cold knife, Greg had killed someone. Nick couldn’t help the mix of feelings rushing through him, he was scared for Greg and felt sorry for the life that had been lost in the young man but he was also angry at the man for being part of the gang that had hurt Greg.

 

“Lets go see Greg shall we” Grissom placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder bringing him out of his thoughts. Nick followed him towards the door and watched him lightly knock before entering leaving Nick to hover in the doorway scared to enter the threshold. Nick’s attention was drawn back through the window over into the other room where an older woman was now sobbing profusely into his shoulder. He moved over to the window and slid the curtain across blocking out the scene, he didn’t need to see the events unfolding and he felt the need to protect Greg from it too.

 

“Hello Greg, my name is Gil Grissom, I’m a friend” Grissom was standing by Greg’s bed. Greg looked up at the new arrival and smiled slightly at Grissom.

 

“You like bugs” Greg said his voice rough as he struggled through the pain that talking seemed to bring. However, the smile that shone through the black and blue was enough to show his relief at remembering Grissom.

 

“That’s right Greg, do you remember what it is I do?” Greg looked confused and almost panicked at Grissom who took that confusion as his answer. “It’s okay Greg don’t worry, I’m a CSI I work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab, with you” Grissom filled in the spaces for Greg but was careful not to overwhelm him.

 

“I think I remember a little…its like pictures in my head of people and places but I cant remember names or understand why I’m seeing these places” A tear seemed to spring from Greg’s good eye and trickle down his face. It killed Nick to see him struggling so much and knowing there was nothing he could do to help him.

 

“Hey Greggo” Nick suddenly found himself saying like it was second nature. It brought Greg’s attention to Nick who was still standing by the now covered window. Greg’s eyes narrowed as he focused in on Nick, he fingers slowly traced over his left hand hovering there as if that would trigger some kind of memory for him.

 

“Do you know who this is Greg?” Grissom asked feeling the silence throughout the room.

 

“There’s something” Greg hesitated his eyes never leaving Nick’s face as he tried to piece it all together.

 

“Do I work with you?” Greg asked, Nick just smiled in return and nodded warmly trying to hide the fact he had tears stinging his eyes.

 

“Would you excuse me a moment…I cant” Nick broke down racing for the door, he didn’t stop till he reached the locked doors of the ward, he slid down against the wall and let the tears fall pulling his knees up to his chest to protect himself. He hadn’t cried this much since his grandfather died when he was twelve. Although, right here right now in the corridor of desert palm hospital Nick was feeling like his whole world was slowly crumbling around him. Nick was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Grissom crouch down in front of him and place a hand over his arm. The warmth of Grissom’s touch was enough to lift Nick out from hiding behind his knees.

 

“What am I going to do Gil? He doesn’t remember who I am!” another tear fell hitting Grissom’s hand. Neither of them knew how long they sat there for but eventually Nick calmed down enough to sit up on one of the chairs.

 

“We will help him through this, okay” Grissom’s hand was still gripped protectively over Nick’s arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick had managed to migrate into the waiting room, finding himself a quiet corner to hide away in. He had been sat in the same chair for the past few hours unable to bring himself to move or even consider re-entering Greg’s room. The last 24 hours had been a lot to take in and when Greg revealed he didn’t remember who Nick was it was the final blow. Looking over at the door down the corridor that went to Greg’s room, Nick’s chest tightened at the thought of going back in, it was too painful.

 

Nick’s phone buzzed in his pocket breaking him from his thoughts for the first time since he sat down. Glancing at the caller ID he sighed not really wanting to pick up but knowing he had to.

 

“You don’t half pick your moments Sara,” Nick muttered out loud, gaining a strange look from the receptionist, before sliding the answer button across.

 

“Nick, are you at the hospital? Is Grissom there?” Sara’s voice was rushed and cut in before Nick could even say hello. He really didn’t have the patience for this right now.

 

“Yes, and no he’s not here, said something about meeting someone at the lab” Nick muttered the tiredness clear in his voice.

 

“Well he isn’t here yet and I cant seem to get hold of him, if you see him can you tell him Greg’s parents just arrived at the lab” Sara spoke so casually as if dropping a bomb shell like Greg’s parents coming wasn’t as big a deal as it actually was. Nick had no idea they were even coming, it hadn’t even crossed his mind.

 

Grissom had called them as soon as Greg reached the hospital, figuring they deserved to know what had happened to their only child. They must have driven none stop in order to get to Vegas from San Diego in the time they have, Nick thought.

 

“Sara, don’t do anything keep them busy I’ll be there soon” Nick hung up, the sudden realisation that he had to face Greg’s parents alone was sending his brain back into overdrive.

 

……………………………………

 

Nick raced down the corridor into the reception of the lab almost bumping into Sara who was coming around the corner at the same time.

  
“Sara, where are they?” He grabbed her shoulders stopping her from falling over but also as a means of preventing her from escaping before he got his information.

 

“They’re in Grissom’s office, but Nick before you go, are you sure about this?” She was clearly cautious not entirely sure how they would react to seeing Nick.

 

“I don’t trust anyone else to” Nick simply replied the confidence returning to his features.

 

Nick took as deep breath as he approached the door to the office, he could already see the couple standing in the middle of the room both clearly unable to settle. An older gentleman stood by one of the shelves inspecting the various specimens in jars that adorned almost every surface of the room.

 

Building up his courage he pushed the door open and both sets of eyes shot round to greet the new arrival.

 

“Mr and Mrs Sanders” Nick began taking a step further into the room. “My name is Nick Stokes, I work with Greg” Nick was cut off by Greg’s mother, that had raced towards him upon entering the room and was now positioned right in front of him with a shine of recognition covering the worry that formed a line over her brow.

 

“We know who you are Nick” Mrs Sanders hesitantly stepped forward placing a gentle touch over Nick’s shoulder, her look had turned to one of sympathy and understanding like she could feel through her touch how much he was hurting.

 

“You know me?” Nick was confused, he and Greg had discussed telling their parents and its not like either parents didn’t know their sons were gay but both of them had planned to tell them about the relationship at some point. Every time they got close to it life got in the way.

 

“There’s nothing my son doesn’t tell me” She smiles and Nick can’t help but think that its probably the first time she’s smiled in 24 hours. The smile faded as quickly as it had appeared and she took Nick’s hand in her own her eyes brimming with tears as she spoke. “What happened to my boy?”

 

Nick glanced over at Greg’s father directing the answer towards the more stable person in the room. Mr Sanders was not much taller than Nick but was significantly rounder in build, his features held a striking resemblance to Greg and his thick curly grey hair had obviously been blonde at one point in his life as his beard showed the last remaining colour.

 

“Greg…he was attacked by a gang on his way back to the lab, he’s suffered severe bruising, a few broken ribs…” Nick paused finding it harder to tell them about the memory loss than he thought it would be. “The doctors say he has amnesia…” Mrs Sanders audibly gasped at the information her hand beginning to shake under Nick’s who gripped her hand in response to try and support her. “I’m so sorry, the doctors aren’t sure if its permanent,” Nick added not sure why he was adding salt to the wound but they needed to know.

 

“I want to see my son,” Mr Sanders spoke for the first time since Nick entered the room.

 

“Of course, I’ll drive you” Nick released the supportive hand of Mrs Sanders allowing her husband to take over the support by taking her by the arm and following Nick out the room.

 

……………………………………………

 

Nick had gone straight to the nurse at the desk when they arrived, asking if they could visit Greg out of visiting hours. It looked like she wasn’t going to let him for a few moments until she saw the older couple standing a few paces behind him looking worried and expectantly in their direction that she crumbled.

 

“She says you can have half an hour, but then he needs his rest…sorry I couldn’t get any longer” Greg’s mother placed her hand over Nick’s cheek smiling warmly at him.

 

“You’re a good man Nick, thank you” She wasted no time in getting to her son followed closely by her husband. Nick decided to give them their space. It was probably better for Greg’s recovery to not be bombarded with too many faces all at once.

 

Although that didn’t stop Nick’s curiosity as he crossed the room to stand some distance from the window but that allowed him an unobstructed view into the room. Greg’s eyes lit up when his mother entered the room, instant recognition as she engulfed him into a tight embrace that she didn’t look keen to release him from. Greg didn’t seem bothered, in fact he looked so relieved like it was just what he needed. Nick wished in that moment that it were him that could offer Greg that sense of safety and comfort. Greg’s father placed a reassuring hand on his sons shoulder.

 

“You need to talk to him Nicky” Grissom’s voice behind him startled Nick.

 

“How can I talk to him…he doesn’t even know me” Nick turned his attention back to the family in the other room trying his best not to let the stab of pain dig too deeply.

 

“He needs you Nick, now more than ever” Grissom pressed.

 

“He doesn’t need me…no, if he remembers, great, if not...well its best he doesn’t know” Nick debated with himself as he watched Greg’s mother stroke his hair from his eyes.

 

“You can’t really want that?” Grissom wasn’t about to let it go, Nick was one of his team and he was hurting just as much emotionally as Greg was physically, they needed each other.

 

“I was a coward, I didn’t want to tell anyone about us, which crushed him…I can’t do that to him again” Nick’s heart was racing a mile a minute.

 

“Now is your chance to put that right” Grissom placed a quick reassuring hand on Nick’s shoulder and left him alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Grissom’s words had been lingering in the back of Nick’s mind for over an hour now. Greg’s parents had left half an hour ago and gone to sort out a hotel. Greg’s mother explained she was going to stay in Vegas until Greg was back on his feet. Nick was alone in the hospital waiting room once again, he could have gone in and seen Greg but something was holding him back. 

A vibration from his pocket was enough to drag him from his thoughts. Nick took the phone from his pocket and didn’t hesitate to answer. 

“Stokes” Nick began, sighing deeply clearly feeling the exhaustion. 

“Hey Nicky, just calling to see how Greg was doing? I heard about…” Warrick’s voice filled the phone faltering at the end not sure how to finish the sentence. 

“Physically, he’s in some pain and mentally…who knows man” Nick paused taking a glance over at the sleeping form of Greg through the window. “Doctor thinks the memory loss could be temporary because he recognised his parents…but he thinks aspects of his life may never come back” Nick managed to relay the information with relative ease, he’d already spoken about it enough times to become almost clinical in its repetition. 

“Sorry to hear that man, well send Greg my love wont you, I have to go I’ve got a scene to get to. Next time I get a break I will come pay Greg a visit” Warrick was a good guy and an even better friend. 

“Thanks Warrick, I’m sure he will appreciate that” Nick also thought it might help trigger some memories in Greg, he recognised Grissom after all. 

Nick hung up the phone and looked back through the window, Greg had been asleep when he answered the phone but was now awake and looking right back at him. Greg smiled warmly at Nick who couldn’t help but smile back it felt too natural, like before the attack. A doctor’s voice drew Nick’s attention away.

“Mr Stokes, I have some of Greg’s personal belongings here I thought you might want to hold onto them for him…” the doctor hesitated holding a brown paper bag in his hands that he was awkwardly fiddling with “There are some items in here that he may need to be introduced to slowly as they seem rather personal…it might distress him if he cant remember them” The doctor finished before handing the bag over to Nick. The doctor nodded a farewell and left Nick wondering what could be so personal in Greg’s things that it would upset him. 

…………………………………………………………

He couldn’t put it off any longer, he had to go in at some point, as Nick reached for the handle his hand began to shake but he forced himself to grab the handle and swing the door open. No going back now. 

Greg was fast asleep in the bed. Nick hesitated in the door questioning whether he should come back later. As he turned to leave suddenly regretting the decision to go into the room, a soft familiar voice pulled Nick around. 

“Nick? You’re leaving?” Nick’s heart clenched at the sound of his name. Had he remembered? When his eyes fell on Greg’s face his heart nearly broke at how innocent Greg looked. He had sadness behind his eyes that made him look like a child that was being left alone. 

“Ugh…no I was just…I thought you were sleeping” Nick explained trying to cover for his cowardly escape. He entered the room with a newly discovered confidence and approached the left side of Greg’s bed and settling himself into the chair next to him. 

“I cant sleep…I keep having weird dreams” Greg muttered. Nick just looked over at him with what must have been a confused look on his face as it prompted Greg to explain. “I keep having these dreams where I can clearly see places and faces and these people seem to know me but I have never met them before…it’s a strange feeling like when you’re trying to remember where you left the keys and just when you think you’ve remembered where you left them they disappear again” Greg was getting more and more frustrated as he explained how he’d been feeling. 

Nick suddenly felt awkward, unsure what to offer Greg in the way of support so he did the next best thing and changed the subject. 

“Um…The doctor gave me some of your things…just stuff you had with you when you were…” Nick stopped himself from saying anything else suddenly realising that it was probably better not to mention the attack. Greg’s eyes fell on the bag beside the chair and the puzzled look on his face was enough to tell Nick that he was straining to remember, something about the bag seemed familiar to Greg. 

“The bag…” Greg spoke softly. 

“What’s wrong, do you remember something?” Nick pressed suddenly getting a little giddy. 

“I don’t know…something about that bag…never mind” Greg huffed out a breath in defeat. Nick immediately placed his hand over his arm the excitement of Greg maybe remembering something was getting to him. 

“Go on Greg you can remember…is it the attack?” Nick questioned not realising he was stroking Greg’s arm with his thumb although Greg didn’t seem to mind, that or he didn’t notice either. 

“I remember the attack” Greg said bluntly his eyes suddenly going wide and void of emotion. “I know I turned down the alley, I know I hit that boy…” He looked desolate as he continued “I can hear the glass breaking…I didn’t have the chance to cry out before I was dragged from the truck…then it goes dark” Greg was fiddling with his hands, he used his nails to scratch at the skin by the side of his thumb, it was something Nick had seem him do before when he was anxious and seeing it now gave him a small glimmer of hope that the old Greg was still in there. 

“So you remember why you were there?” Nick asked hopefully, maybe if he remembers why he was there he might remember being a CSI. 

“No. I can see what happened in my head but I have no clue what I was doing there or who I am” the realisation that Greg had lost his entire sense of self was something Nick hadn’t even considered, he knew he couldn’t remember but it hadn’t even dawned on him how that might actually feel. Greg hung his head low trying to hid the tears that fell, it took all the strength Nick had left in him not to wipe them away. 

“Do you want to have a look at any of this stuff? It might help…doc said there might be some personal items in here that might trigger a memory” Nick clutched the top of the bag expectantly. Greg’s hand fell on Nick’s hand that was still clutching his arm protectively. 

“I cant…not right now, could you maybe look after it for me?” Greg asked his voice pleading him. 

“You trust me?” Nick asked a little surprised, “There’s some personal stuff in here and you don’t even remember me” Nick felt the need to voice that aloud even if he was just reminding himself of that fact. 

“I know…but you’re the first person I’ve met since waking up that I feel comfortable with…the only person who hasn’t tried to get me to rest or talk about my feelings…you’ve listened and I don’t know, maybe I’ll never be able to remember…but something about you and that bag feels familiar…it makes me feel…safe” Nick smiled up at Greg, maybe there was hope that they could find their way back to each other.


	4. Chapter 4

The waitress poured another cup of coffee for Nick giving him a soft smile as she left him alone at the table. His stomach moaned at him as he took a sip of the brown water, it was tasteless and had obviously been sitting out a while. He supposed that’s what you get in a side street Vegas diner. The diner was just around the corner from the hospital, he needed to get away for a little while being cooped up in that waiting room was driving him insane and his stomach had protested at him when a nurse had walked past him carrying her dinner.

 

Nick didn’t look up when the bell above the door chimed indicating a new customer to the empty room. It was getting close to three in the morning in Las Vegas and it was moments like this Nick was glad for the city of sin and its 24-hour existence.

Greg’s bag full of his things was sitting on the chair next to him, taunting him to look inside. Ordinarily the concept of going into Greg’s bag would have been second nature to him but now it just felt wrong, like he would be invading Greg’s privacy if he did go through it. However, the doctors words drifting into his mind in that moment, what if there was a personal item in there that would be the key to triggering something for Greg. It could trigger a memory of Nick!

 

That was enough to get Nick to pick up the bag and unzip it, his hand immediately landed on the soft fabric of Greg’s shirt. He lifted it out of the bag and realised that it was the dark green button down shirt he had bought Greg for his birthday last year. Nick held the fabric up to his nose and breathed in the sweet scent of Greg that had a subtle hint of coconut smell from his shampoo that Nick loved so much. He bathed in the warmth for a moment allowing the feeling of closeness to wrap around him. Putting the shirt to one side he reached back into the bag and pulled out the first thing his hand grabbed and set the bag to one side. The item he pulled out was a small green box that had some card wrapped around it so it wasn’t immediately evident what it was.

 

A presence appeared above Nick, looking up he was faced with Catherine Willows smiling down sympathetically at him. The pity eyes were getting a bit boring for Nick.

“Catherine? I thought you and Warrick had a case?” Nick asked putting to box on the table.

 

“Yeah we do but he has it covered, I wanted to come see how you were doing?” She asked taking an uninvited seat across from him.

 

“I’m fine” Nick muttered, he wasn’t even convincing himself.

 

“When were you last home?” She asked, her famous motherly tone taking over.

 

“I’m not sure, a few days ago maybe” In all honesty Nick hadn’t even thought of going home in the two days Greg had been in hospital and he had driven straight there after a double shift at the lab so he’d completely lost track of the days.

 

“Where have you been sleeping?” She asked suddenly feeling very concerned for her friend. Nick ducked his head refusing to answer and feeling scrutinised by Catherine. “Nicky?” Her voice was warning but held a small hint of softness.

 

“The first night I slept on the chairs in the waiting room…then the nurse took pity on me and let me use the bed in the on call room” Nick confessed, in reality he had hardly slept even being as tired as he was it wasn’t enough to stop the worry in the pit of his stomach keeping him awake.

 

“Nicky!” Catherine wasn’t angry with him but she was irritated more so out of worry for Nick than anything else.

 

“I can’t leave him” Nick spoke softly taking the small box in his hands and playing with the card. Catherine placed her hand over his and a look of confusion crossed her face as she felt the box beneath her hand.

 

“What’s this” She instinctively took the box from Nick who with some slight reluctance allowed her to take it from him.

 

“Not sure, found it in Greg’s things…he had it on him when he was attacked”

 

Catherine opened the box after a few moments examining the outside, a leather box with gold trim around the top. She gasped as she saw what was inside carefully removing the object from its cushioned home. “It’s a ring” She held it up to show a very startled looking Nick who didn’t hesitate in grabbing it from her.

 

“Damn Nicky, did your mother never teach you any manner” Catherine snapped as he snatched it from her and ran it around his hands examining every inch of the thick silver band. “Its an engagement ring right?” She tried to confirm with Nick who simply nodded, the shock was preventing him from finding his words.

 

“ _Forever yours, G”_ Nick whispered as he read the inscription on the inner side of the band. His heart ached as the thoughts of his future with Greg came crashing through. The future was something he had considered with Greg, especially after his kidnapping Nick had decided that nothing was going to stop him being with Greg but he was always too much of a coward to propose…clearly Greg was going to beat him too it.

 

“Who do you suppose it’s for?” Catherine asked, Nick looked up forgetting for a moment that she was even a part of this situation.

 

“It’s for me” Nick grabbed the bag and raced towards the door leaving a confused and pissed off Catherine behind.

 

………………………………………………….

 

 

Catherine had wasted no time in chasing after Nick who had rushed off towards the entrance of the hospital. It wasn’t till they got back up to Greg’s ward that Catherine managed to catch up properly, as the lift doors closed behind her she found Nick standing frozen looking at the ring in front of Greg’s room.

 

“Nicky! What the hell is going on? What do you mean it’s for you?” She had so many questions and the fact he had left her alone had amped up her frustration.

 

It was all sinking in for Nick, looking down at the ring in his hand, Greg was going to ask him to marry him…to be with him forever.

 

“Greg was going to propose to me! He called me the night of the attack and asked to meet up after work said he had something important to talk to me about…I’d completely forgotten about it until now…he must have meant this” Nick indicated to the ring as he poured out the explanation.

 

“Nicky, I’m so sorry I didn’t know! Why did you never tell me about you two?” She asked suddenly realising the situation that what going on around her.

 

“Because I’m too much of a coward, I was never able to be honest about how I feel and now…” Nick choked up as the realisation dawned on him. “Now I may never get the chance to tell him how I feel…to say yes to spending the rest of my life with him…because he doesn’t even know I am anymore” Nick refused to hold back the tears as he let them fall freely.

 

“Oh Nick” Catherine wrapped her arms around him pulling him close, it was the first time Nick had felt any real sense of anything in days and he gripped on tightly to her sobbing into her shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Greg had been stuck in the hospital for over a week now, granted he was still healing from the attack. The swelling in his eyes had gone down but the bruising was still there, the doctor said that it would take a few weeks for the bruising to completely go. He was able to sit up in bed within the first two days and by the fourth day he was up and walking around the room, it was now the eighth day and the doctors had confined him to his room for his own wellbeing but he was fed up. He was beginning to count the amount of people walking past his window just for something to do, 

His memory was still sketchy, his parents had been to see him every day and he was pretty sure he knew who they were and felt comfortable enough to trust them. The way his mind was working at the moment was simple, he would see a person and knew instantly if he knew them or not but the problems were arising when he couldn’t remember how he knew them. 

Grissom he knew instantly, his parents were pretty easy to remember, he’d been visited by Sara and she had seemed familiar yet another person he recognised but didn’t know where from, he felt embarrassed when he had had to ask her for her name and how they knew each other. It was beginning to make him feel kind of stupid. 

Aspects of his life had slowly come back to him, he would spend an hour a day just sitting going through the images in his head trying to piece together parts of his memory. It happened suddenly the first time, he was studying an image of a lab in his mind when it had occurred to him that he worked there he knew that. Then it was gradual memories of working in the lab, in DNA and then the feeling of being trapped as he remembered wanting to become a CSI. So far all he knew was his name was Gregory Hojem Sanders and he worked as a CSI for the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He knew his supervisor was Gil Grissom, into bugs, and his co-workers were Sara, Warrick and Catherine. Things were coming together for him but there was something that still nagged at him and no matter how hard he tried in his memory hour, he couldn’t focus on it. All he knew was that it was important and the image in his head is fuzzy, it was frustrating him not being able to clear up the image. 

Then there was Nick…the guy had been hanging around the hospital the whole time, Greg wasn’t even sure he ever went home. Not that Greg minded because that meant he got his daily visit from Nick the mysterious guy that would come and see him. Greg was bored and it was easy to look forward to the one interesting thing to happen in a boring day spent doing nothing but he would always look forward to seeing Nick, even if Nick never did come in the room. Greg secretly wished he would and each day Nick would get closer to the door but for the most part he would sit in the waiting room near the window and glance across at Greg every so often. In those moments Greg would pretend to be asleep and for the rest of the time he would just stare at Nick. The guy was beautiful, which was another reason why Greg couldn’t take his eyes off him but there was also something about Nick that he couldn’t put his finger on, he seemed familiar but he never seemed to appear in the images in his head. When he thought about Grissom a memory would appear and Greg could assure himself that he knew him. But with Nick it was like this haze he couldn’t get through. He didn’t dare asked anyone either because he didn’t want to look like a fool like when he had asked Sara. All Greg wanted was for Nick to come in and speak to him maybe then he could piece it together. 

A knock at the door drew him from his mind as he looked up he smiled at the sight of Catherine in the doorway, “Knock, knock, hey Greg, how you feeling today?” her smile was contagious and he couldn’t help but smile back. His eyes were drawn to the bag in her hand as she took the seat next to the bed. 

“I’m feeling good today, the pain seems to be subsiding a bit” He rubbed at his thumb sub-consciously. 

“I’m glad to see you’re improving so quickly” there was a look in her eyes that seemed familiar to Greg it was the look she gave to victims at crime scenes! The look had triggered a memory of her and he suddenly felt like he really knew her, but the look worried him why was she looking at him like that? 

“Catherine, what’s wrong?” She turned away from him obviously trying to avoid his gaze. 

“Nothing everything’s fine”, she tried hesitating slightly like she was going to say something when she saw the confusion in the young mans eyes. “Greg, can I ask you something?” She sat forward in the chair and lowered her voice a little. 

“Yeah, ask me anything” Greg insisted, the more people spoke to him the easier it was for him to remember. 

“You said you remember me, from before the attack, you remember Gil and Sara and of course your parents…but there’s one person you haven’t mentioned” Catherine paused glancing over at the door and stopping herself, it seemed as if she was going to look behind her but managed to stop before she could. 

“Who?” Greg had a feeling in his stomach that started to flutter through his whole body. 

“Nicky” Catherine said simply making eye contact with Greg. 

“No…I suppose I haven’t…why are you asking?” 

“Do you even remember him Greg?” It was such a direct question that Greg felt attacked. 

“I don’t know...” Greg glanced at Catherine whose face and turned stone cold she seemed like she was accusing him of something “I have this….feeling, its like I’m supposed to know him but I cant quite…” Greg wanted to say ‘see him’ but he didn’t how to explain it to her without sounding crazy. 

“You need to try Greg, it’s tearing him apart…” She stopped realising that it probably wasn’t her place to tell Greg how Nick was feeling. 

“I’m trying!” Greg defended feeling very much like he was in an interrogation. It’s all he’d done for days was try and clear the haze knowing it linked to Nick in some way but not being able to see it. 

“Please just keep trying…not for me but for him” Her original smile returned as she got up to leave, she placed something on the table at the end of his bed that drew his attention.


	6. Chapter 6

Nick would go to work, do a couple of hours then sneak off early to visit Greg. It had become a routine and the staff at the hospital had come to know Nick and even give him a bit of special treatment. They had offered him the use of the staff break room but he preferred sitting in the waiting room, he could keep a better eye on Greg’s recovery from there. Watching Greg made Nick feel the closest he’d been to him since the attack. Nick had finally managed to let everything sink in, the past weeks events had felt like a dream since finding out about the attack to discovering the ring in his bag. 

Even if Greg couldn’t remember him, at least Nick could. He had spent the past hour going through his phone looking at all the photos he kept, in a locked file, of the two of them throughout their relationship. They’d been dating two years, they had decided to get their act together the year Greg decided to become a CSI. Originally Greg had asked Nick for some advice on the transition from lab to field because he knew Nick had done something similar back at the Dallas crime lab before he moved to Vegas. They had spent so much time together that feelings started to change between them, then the day Greg passed his final proficiency test the team had gone out for drinks after shift, they had both had one too many drinks and Nick ended up kissing Greg in the parking lot of the bar. It wasn’t very romantic but for Nick it was the best day of his life. It was the moment he was finally able to come clean with himself about his feelings and about his relationship with Greg. 

At least that’s what Nick thought, he had planned to tell the team but after his kidnapping he was a mess. Their relationship became rocky and they spent a few months arguing more and more about petty things until Nick finally broke down. He got better, after he got help from a therapist but for some reason he still couldn’t open up about his relationship with Greg. In the end Greg got used to the idea that they would always be a secret because he understood that Nick was struggling and needed time, but part of Nick would always feel guilty when he pulled away from a touch or diverted a conversation away from dangerous territory. The pain in Greg’s eyes whenever he flinched from his touch was enough to break anyone. 

Despite all that Greg still wanted to marry him! That had been pestering Nick since he found the ring, he loved Greg more than anything and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Why then couldn’t he tell the world? 

Catherine strolled past Nick clearly not wanting to stop as she made a determined dash for Greg’s room. 

“Hey Catherine, you off to see Greg?” Nick sounded worried, she was the only other person who knew about the ring and the possible proposal and he wasn’t entirely sure he could trust her to keep it to herself. 

“Yeah, you want to come with me?” She pointed at the door waiting for his response. 

“Best not…he’s probably better off seeing people he knows for now” Nick muttered gaining him a sympathetic smile from Catherine. She didn’t say another word as she entered Greg’s room leaving Nick alone with his thoughts once more. 

Nick couldn’t help but turn and watch the exchange through the window. Greg looked so happy to see her but as the conversation progressed Catherine began to look more concerned which only caused the anxiety to build up in Nick. After a few more exchanges and a brief conversation Catherine turned to leave the room, not before depositing something on the table. 

“The ring!” Nick practically shouted jumping up from the chair and racing to the door nearly bumping into Catherine as she came through. 

“Nick slow down” She began but was cut off by Nick before she could say anything else. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? The ring?” Nick tried his best to keep his voice low so Greg wouldn’t hear them but he was furious, how could she do something so drastic that could jeopardise Greg’s recovery. 

“I had to give him the ring or else you never would” She said raising her arms suggesting it was the most logical decision in the world. 

“That was my decision to make not yours” Nick was angry there was no denying that, she could have ruined everything. 

Nick had been debating telling Greg about the ring for a number of reasons. Firstly it could set Greg back in his recovery, send him over the edge if he couldn’t remember it. Secondly, he was scared…Nick was terrified of Greg remembering, it was the real reason he had kept his distance but he hadn’t even realised until today that he was doing it. What if Greg remembered? And what if he remembered all the bad they went through as well? The fact that Nick kept them hidden, Greg could be upset about that, he might never forgive him. 

“What if this is the thing that helps him remember” Catherine suggested the one thing Nick was the most afraid of. 

“What if he remembers? And what if he hates me?” He shouted back at her trying to fight the tears. 

“Nick, I know you’re scared but if you love him as much as you clearly do then please don’t give up on him, he needs you now more than ever” Catherine wrapped her arms around Nick in a tight embrace. “If he loves you as much as that ring suggests he will fight for you too” She whispered into his ear. 

“I just want him back,” Nick sobbed. 

“Then get in there and talk to him” She let him go and stepped aside to put the door into view. Nick stared at the wooden frame for a few moments contemplating his next move. It was now or never.


	7. Chapter 7

Greg twirled the silver ring around in his fingers. It was all he had been able to focus on since she left, , he had heard some shouting from behind the door shortly after she left but he couldn’t work out what was being said. Since then Nick had seemed to disappear, he hadn’t been sat in his usual seat like he’d been doing all week and for the first time he wasn’t there. The dull ache in his stomach was enough to tell him that he missed having Nick close by. 

The ring flipped out his hands onto the bed as he lost concentration, he picked it up and ran his finger over the inscription on the inside. Greg had decided it must be an engagement ring why else would someone carry a ring around with them, but the question that was plaguing him the most, who was it for? 

If the ‘G’ on the inscription really did stand for Greg then that must mean he was seeing someone before the attack. When Greg realised this he nearly threw up, part of that was probably down to the drugs he was being pumped with. His next thought had gone to who? And how must they be feeling? For a split moment Greg even considered the possibility that whoever it was didn’t know he was there and hadn’t been to see him, because surely he would know instantly especially if he loved this person enough to propose. 

Then it hit him…what if they had already been to see him and he’d just not realised. That left a short list of people that it could possibly be. He thought about Grissom but it couldn’t be him because Greg had a feeling Sarah had already staked her claim there. So that left him with Catherine and he knew instantly it couldn’t be her because…”I’m gay” Greg spoke softly more to himself than anyone else, not realising Sarah had walked into the room just as he had spoken. 

“I know” She replied with a smirk on her face. She smiled warmly at Greg for a moment when suddenly something crossed her eyes like someone who had just realised they had left the stove on she darted out the room shouting for Nick. 

“Nick!” Greg’s mind went fuzzy again at the mention of his name it must be Nick! But if it was Nick why hadn’t he said something? All these questions were burning through his mind, he needed to get out of that hospital he needed to clear his head…he needed to talk to Nick. 

…………………………………………………..

“Nick, there you are…He’s remembered!” She came racing over to Nick in such a hurry she nearly crashed into him and made Nick jump to a rather worrying conclusion that something terrible had happened. 

“What do you mean is he okay?” Nick managed to get out without showing too much panic. 

“Physically he’s fine…but Nick I just walked in now to help him pack his stuff up to go home and he said it…he said he was gay…Nick I think he’s beginning to remember!” she reeled off the information with ease trying to get to the point as quickly as she could. 

Nick wasted no time in darting off towards Greg’s room he needed to speak to Greg. 

…………………………………………………….

As Nick approached the room the same feeling of doubt came over him, it was always the same with this room whenever he found the courage to go in he bottled it at the last minute. Looking through the window by the door he could see Greg on the other side carefully folding his clothes into a bag, he was wearing his own casual clothes a pair of lose fitting jeans so he didn’t aggravate the bruising and scaring on his legs and a dark green sweater that Nick remembers buying him a few weeks ago on a whim thinking he’d look good in it. How right he was. Greg looked beautiful, despite the scaring around his eyes and the bruising down his body he looked like the same handsome, funny and brave young man he had fallen in love with. 

Nick gently pushed open the door so as not to startle Greg, he had been quite jumpy this week with good reason. 

“Hey Greg, you need any help packing?” Nick asked cautiously, he realised the offer seemed a bit odd considering Greg didn’t know who he was and he’d been sitting outside his room like some crazed stalker for the past two weeks. 

“Nick, I didn’t know you were still here?” Greg stuttered, he was really cute when he got nervous it was one of the things Nick found so adorable about him. 

“Yeah, figured you’d need a ride home?” Nick asked unsure if anyone had actually offered to take him home or not. 

“My parents offered to come get me…I told them a friend was driving me home” Greg looked guilty all of a sudden. 

“Oh…” Nick replied feeling embarrassed for making the offer. 

“Just because I told them that doesn’t mean its true…I was going to get a taxi” Greg added when Nick gave me a confused look. 

“You cant take a taxi come on let me take you home” Nick offered moving closer to the bed. 

“I don’t actually want to go home…not just yet anyway” Greg admitted his cheeks flushing red as he spoke. 

“Where do you want to go?” Nick smiled at him moving to stand directly in front of Greg. 

“Anywhere but here” Greg replied his face lighting up at the fact Nick wasn’t mad at him, if his parents were here they would have told him to stop being so ridiculous and taken him home. This was part of what made Nick so intriguing to him, he didn’t question him he just listened and allowed Greg to be happy. 

“I know somewhere…lets go” Nick picked up the now zipped up bag and flung it over his shoulder leading the way out of the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

“Just sign here Mr Sanders and you’re free to go” The nurse handed him over a pen and a clipboard as he signed off the discharge forms. “Is there someone coming to pick you up?” The nurse asked as she took the pen away.

 

“Ugh yeah, Nick said he’s going to take me home” Greg lied, he knew that if the nurses or doctors found out he wasn’t going straight home then he’d get a lecture about the importance of rest but he really didn’t want to go home just yet.

 

“He’s a good guy that man of yours” The nurse smiled warmly at him as she described Nick as ‘his man’, Greg didn’t know what to think.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked packing a few things into his bag.

 

“None of my ex-boyfriends ever cared for me as much as Nick clearly cares for you…its probably why they’re now my exes” The nurse laughed, Greg awkwardly chuckled along not really finding the comment funny because all he could focus on was the fact this woman thought Nick was his boyfriend.

 

“You think Nick’s my boyfriend?” Greg didn’t sound defensive, if anything his tone suggested that he actually wanted the question answering.

 

“Well yeah, I mean he’s been here every day since you came in, he hardly sleeps and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him eat something other than vending machine food…if that’s not love I don’t know what is” The nurse laughed once more clearly finding the idea that Nick wasn’t in love with him quite amusing.

 

“Yeah…he’s a good guy” Greg didn’t know what else to say, he didn’t know how to explain to this woman that he had no recollection of Nick, but hearing how she sees it is only making his confusion worse. The nurse smiled once more at him before leaving him in peace to finish packing.

 

Greg’s mind was dizzy with questions; if someone else thinks we’re together does that mean we are? Shall I risk it and ask Nick? How long have we been together? Why can’t I remember him?

 

Greg’s bag flew across the room smashing into the vase of get well soon flowers sitting on the side, it crashed into the wall sending pieces of porcelain flying across the room. Greg didn’t even realise he’d screamed out as he threw the bag until the nurse came in the room.

 

“What on earth is going on…are you alright?” She spotted the carnage on the other side of the bed and looked down at Greg who had crouched down on the floor next to the mess and was beginning to pick up the broken pieces.

 

“I’m fine, I just dropped my bag, I guess I’m still not quite strong enough for heavy lifting” The nurse looked at him sceptically, he didn’t believe him but she didn’t question him about it either.

 

“As long as you’re okay? I’ll go see if Nick’s arrived yet…and get someone to come clean that up” She hesitated watching Greg as he carried on collecting pieces before leaving the room.

 

“Why can’t I remember?” Greg muttered through gritted teeth, this not remembering was finally getting to him.

 

………………………………………………………………

 

 

Nick had arrived shortly after the incident with the vase ready to leave. Greg had managed to calm himself down after his burst of anger and the sight of Nick seemed to help bring him out of his bad mood.

 

“You ready to go?” Nick asked standing in the doorway of the room, the pieces of the vase sitting in the bin as a reminder to Greg of his outburst.

 

“Yeah, let me just grab my bag” Greg went to the other side of the bed where the bag was still sitting where it had landed.

 

“Let me” Nick rushed across the room taking the bag from Greg, his fingers brushed lightly across Greg’s. Nick paused suddenly feeling very awkward, Greg’s breath caught in his chest as he felt something trigger at the back of his mind like a bolt of electricity sparking a memory back to life.

 

“You never actually said where we were going?” Greg’s voice was low as studied his shoes, anything to keep from making eye contact with Nick.

 

“Ugh, no I didn’t…it’s a surprise…but don’t worry you’ll like it…hopefully” Nick stammered, he glanced up for a split second at Greg “We better go…traffic will be bad this time of day and I want to get there before dark” Nick whispered he sounded almost sad like he wanted to say something more but was too afraid to.

 

“Yeah, of course, lead the way” Greg took a step back allowing Nick to pass and breaking the closeness that they had so comfortably fallen into.

 

……………………………………………………………

 

They drove in silence for the most part, Greg in the passenger seat and Nick at the wheel. Greg glanced over every so often unable to stop he wanted to take in as much of this mysterious man as he could. Over the last two weeks he had observed him from afar when he thought he wasn’t looking but now being within such close proximity and with Nick distracted by the road he could really soak in every detail.

 

Greg learnt something new each time he looked over at Nick, like that fact he had a half smile that pulled at his cheeks revealing the laugh lines around his eyes. His eyes were a deep brown colour that gave them a soft appearance that Greg found comforting. The sun was currently low in the sky as it started to set behind the mountains; Greg noticed the slight squint in Nick’s eyes as he strained against the bright Nevada sun.

 

“You’re staring at me” There was that half smile that Greg found so beautiful now directed at him it turned to a bright full grin.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare” Greg’s cheeks flushed red as he focused on the road ahead.

 

“It’s okay G” The nickname fell out too fast for Nick to catch himself. Greg shot his eyes at Nick like a startled deer in the headlights he remembered something.

 

“That’s what you call me” It was more of a statement than a question but something about the name seemed to fit, it felt right to Greg.

 

“Yeah, I ugh…I’m the only one who calls you G” Nick added feeling like the information was needed.

 

They settled into silence once more this time with a slight awkward atmosphere floating around them. Greg was lost in him mind again fighting with a memory that was just at the edge of his reach.

 

“The hoover dam?” Greg spoke aloud, more for his own benefit as the memory faded in and out.

 

“How did you know?” Nick seemed surprised and possibly a little annoyed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“How did you know that’s where we were going?” Nick asked, slightly hurt that his surprise had been spoilt.

 

“I didn’t” Greg wasn’t lying he didn’t know anything about where Nick as taking him but how could he explain to Nick that he was fighting with his own mind and that the Hoover dam was the only thing that made sense to him at that moment in time.

 

“Right” Nick muttered looking back at the road and falling into silence for the rest of the ride.

 

…………………………………………………………………….

 

 

Nick stopped the car by a railing at the end of a dirt road. Greg had fallen asleep at some point during the journey and was woken by the lack of movement in the car.

 

“We’re here” Nick proclaimed jumping out the car with a huge smile on his face and heading down the slight embankment to what Greg could now see was a naturally formed viewing platform. Nick went straight to the barrier that had been built at some point to stop passers who happened upon the private alcove from going over the edge. Greg hopped out the car and trudged down the slope watching where he put his feet, as he was still unsteady of his legs. Greg stopped beside Nick as he leant against the railing looking out over the vast cavern bellow. The sun had long since set and the lights across the dam reflected across the water resembling the stars in the sky. It was a truly beautiful sight and Greg could see why Nick had driven all the way out here.

 

“The Hoover Dam” Greg whispered into the wind.

 

“My favourite place in Vegas” Nick said without taking his eyes from the view ahead, “When I first arrived in Vegas someone told me I should visit all the tourist trap destinations to get a sense of the city I’d be investigating, this was the last place on my list…I drove for miles trying to find it until I took a wrong turning somewhere and ended up here…my own private heaven”. Nick looked so content as he told his story, but Greg couldn’t help catch the sadness in his eyes. “It was the one place I could run to if I ever felt like I needed to escape the city, clear my head”.

 

Greg listened carefully to Nick as he spoke describing the one place he loved more than home his voice captured him. “I came here the day I met you…I couldn’t understand what I was feeling I was so confused…standing up here everything seemed clearer…it sounds so stupid when I say it out loud” Nick laughed, the embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

 

“It’s not stupid…not when its special to you Nick” Greg was falling fast, he may not know who Nick is or whether they were in love in his previous life but he did know that he was falling in love with him now.

 

“This place has let me down,” Nick mumbled as he hung his head low over his leaning arms.

 

“How so?”

 

“I came up here the day you were attacked I needed clarity and for the first time ever I didn’t get any” Nick gave him a sideways glance as he spoke “Everything is so messed up”. They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity before Nick suddenly shot up to face Greg. “You don’t remember me do you?” It was the one question Nick had wanted a definitive answer to since he first saw Greg in that hospital bed.

 

“No…I don’t” Greg was so blunt and the look on Nick’s face as the words escaped his lips broke his heart. In three simple words he had crushed any hope Nick seemed to have. Nick sighed trying to fight back the tears his shaky breath catching in his throat he turned his back to Greg in a moment and was pinching his fingers to his eyes trying to stem the flow of tears.

 

“Nothing makes sense anymore” Nick huffed he sounded annoyed.

 

“Nick?”

 

“I know it’s not your fault Greg, but damn it hurts so much!” Nick snapped not bothering to hold back now as he let his emotions go. Greg was startled by the outburst and it only fuelled the spark of frustration that had been building up inside him when it came to Nick.

 

“I may not know who you are! But…” Greg paused trying to compose himself so he didn’t lash out “You are the one thing in my life that makes sense right now! Out of everyone I’ve met in the past two weeks that I’m _supposed_ to know but none of them are as familiar as you!” Greg was practically shouting by the end.

 

Nick didn’t seem to be listening he remained silent his eyes focused on one point in the ground his hands on his hips.

 

“I’m scared Nick…I don’t know who I am anymore but being with you is the only time I’ve felt like me” Greg paused as he wiped away the lone tear falling down his cheek “My mind doesn’t remember you…but my heart does” Greg’s voice broke as he poured his heart and soul out to a complete stranger.

 

Nick stood there starring at the ground for a few moments allowing the wind to settle the heated air between them. After a minute he moved towards Greg, reaching into his pocket he pulled out his wallet and took out a crinkled photograph and handed it to Greg.

 

As Greg looked down at the image in his hand the same sharp bolt of electricity he felt in the hospital room when there hands brushed, shot through him again.

 

Greg screwed his eyes tightly closed as the memory hit him. Nick’s laugher echoing across the walls of the canyon, he could see a younger version of himself leaning across the railing with his whole body. He could see the memory but it was like he was watching it as a third party like it wasn’t actually him he was seeing but someone else but he could feel every emotion his younger self was feeling. He watched as the younger looking Nick pulled him back from the edge, then he could hear his voice “Don’t fall G, I’m not climbing down to get you”.

 

“Would you catch me if I fall?” The other Greg, the memory Greg, asked with a cheeky grin on his face.

 

“Always” Nick replied planting a soft kiss to other Greg’s lips, it soon deepened and Greg could feel every pull of his heart and every touch of Nick’s fingertips through his hair, he fluttered his eyes open and he was no longer hovering above a memory but standing in front of Nick and for the first time in two weeks he knew exactly who he was.

 

“I remember!” Greg gripped the photo tight crinkling it more but he didn’t care because he remembered something.

 

“You do?” Nick had the world’s biggest smile on his face as he grabbed Greg’s upper arms holding him in place.

 

“I remember” Greg was laughing and crying nodding frantically to Nick, he needed to know just how much he loved him.

 

“How is that possible?” Nick asked suddenly feeling sceptical of the whole thing but the smile still plastered on his face.

 

“The doctors said my memory could come back suddenly and seeing this photo and being here with you it just…clicked” Greg looked into Nick’s eyes, the deep brown chocolate pools that he fell in love with two years ago on this very spot. “I love you so much Nicky” Greg wrapped his fingers through Nick’s hair planting his forehead on Nick’s.

 

“I love you too Greg” Slowly Nick closed the gap his whole body shaking as he pressed his lips to Greg’s. A gentle brush of lips quickly deepened as Nick wrapped Greg close to his body and Greg stroked his fingers through the short hairs at the base of Nick’s neck.

 

Greg pulled away but didn’t let go of Nick, never wanting to let him go again he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box.

 

“I almost forgot…” They both paused as the gravity of what Greg just said sank in “Sorry poor choice of words” Greg’s cheeks flushed but Nick burst out laughing kissing him quickly on the cheek.

 

Nick stopped when he saw the familiar green box in Greg’s hand. The same box he’d found in Greg’s bag and the same box that Catherine had left in his room.

 

“I figure this might be important…so…I was wondering if maybe you could hold onto it for me” Greg looked up at him and smiled holding the box open to reveal the engraved ring inside.

 

“Are you asking me to marry you?” Nick asked his eyes wide as he gazed down at the familiar ring.

 

“I got interrupted last time” Greg chuckled, it would seem the attack was starting to become a distant memory even though the scares remained.

 

“I was actually going to ask you the same thing” Nick commented as he pulled a matching box from his jacket pocket and opened it to reveal an almost identical ring to the one Greg had in his hand.

 

_“A love never forgotten’_ Nick you didn’t?” Greg smiled as he took the ring from the box and examined the beautifully carved lettering on the inside.

 

“Marry me” Nick pre-empted the response by taking the ring from Greg and sliding it on to his finger.

 

“Yes” Greg laughed taking the ring from his box and placing it onto Nick’s finger to match his own. Nick took Greg’s hand in his and interlaced their fingers, the cold metal of the rings brushing against their hands.

They held each other rocking slowly in each others arms their fingers laced together, it was the perfect moment and neither of them wanted to ruin it.

 

“What are we going to tell the others?” Greg asked slowly, with the new memories that had come flooding through like someone had opened the gates of the damn, there were a few bad memories leaking through.

 

“We tell them the truth…no more hiding…Almost losing you made me realise how much of a coward I was” Nick sighed rubbing the ring on Greg’s finger. “I will never forget how lucky I am”.

 

“Remembering what’s important” Greg whispered his fingertips stroking Nick’s hair in a comforting way.

 

“I will never forget” Nick smiled kissing Greg softly.


End file.
